Salman Khan for Prime Minister

Yeah, what’s the harm in that? MGR was cut-out to rule TN. Jayalalitha loomed large after him. NTR introduced Rama Rajya in AP much before the BJP coined the phrase. Now Chiranjeevi has jumped into the action. Govinda has been MP No. 1. Jaya Prada, Shatrughan Sinha, Dharmendra… The list is endless. So why not go all the way and get Salmaan Khan to rule the country. Here is a speech that he could use while campaigning…

Deer Voter,

I stand before you with open arms and bare chest to seek your vote. We have heard enough about Rama Rajya. What I promise you is Drama Rajya. You will all get enough Khan-a and peena. And plenty of gaana too. In order to improve the ratings of Lok Sabha TV, I will put together the most attractive council of ministers ever.

I, Salman, will personally look after finance. I promise to sternly punish income tax evasion. There will be no black-bucks in this country.

My friend Shahrukh will take over the home ministry. He will ensure that there are no riots. No hate. Only love. Love. Regardless of age, caste, religion or er…gender. He will ensure peace. There will be Home-Shanti-Home.

Sunjay Dutt will handle the defence portfolio. He is an opinionated fellow, so he’ll never sit on de-fence. He will ensure that we are always armed and ready. He deserves the TADAsaheb Phalke award.

Dharmendra will take over animal welfare. He has promised to drink the khoon of any kamina who harms a kuttha. And to take good care of all soovar ke baccheys.

Aishwarya Rai, will be the minister for environment. No one can doubt her love for trees. She will ban weeding, and encourage wedding.

Foreign affairs will be handled by Neena Gupta. She has a Viv-id perspective in this area.

Rakhi Sawant will be put in charge of rural development. She has constantly worked for the upliftment of the masses.

The health portfolio will be handled by Saif Ali Khan. He has promised to examine potato chips and pronounce them as completely Saif.

You might wonder why Amitabh has not been mentioned so far. That is because the Big B will be my nomination for the President of India. To ensure that Raj Thackeray will allow him to return to Mumbai after his term, Amitabhji has requested that be referred to not as Rasthtrapati but as Maharashtrapati.

With this star-studded council of ministers, I promise you a lot of action. Every village will get lights and every villager a plot. We will open a dialogue with Pakistan. Our industries will improve their production. And the country will have some direction.

Vote for me. Together we Khan.

Disclaimer : All characters in the speech are figments of Salman Khan’s imagination.

Put Share Da

Tags: ,

28 comments

  1. Vidya Sury says:

    *Stands up and applauds*

  2. Maruti Jha says:

    with current change in situations there are few reshuffles of the portfolios that i would like to recommend::

    1. Aishwarya would look after ” Home and Family Welfare and Bal Vikas Mantralaya.”

    2.Mallika Shehrwat for “foreign ‘affairs’ “

  3. Rohini says:

    good one,… hilarious :D.. glad to find ur blog :)

  4. Anupama says:

    Hilarious! Just superb.

  5. Pooja Nair says:

    Wondeful play of words!

    Really enjoyed this and am off to read the prev two that everyone is talking about..

    Glad to come across your blog!

  6. indicaspecies says:

    Brilliant and hilarious.

    Salman Khan, the Prime Minister designate, gave a news conference in which he said, if elected, he will not take salary and work for free. I wish to believe he will be worth every rupee..haha!

  7. swadeshe says:

    TADAsaheb Phalke Award and Maharashtrapti had me in splits :-)

    - Rahul

  8. Kislay says:

    I have read quite a few of your posts . My bad luck that I discovered your blog only a few days ago . You have a gift sir . May the “force” be with you . :)

  9. rambodoc says:

    “comments got deleted. Sorry about that.”
    A blog like yours deserves to be on WordPress. You can even self host it. Its like the Mac vs. Windows thing, you know.

  10. meraj says:

    good stuff there…will keep dropping in.

    cheers!

  11. Superficial Gibbering prater says:

    all the characters are figments of salman’s imagination..OMG..keep them coming…

  12. Ramesh Srivats says:

    I was tinkering around with blogger and its various options. A few comments got deleted. Sorry about that. Considering that they said nice things, it obviously wasn’t censorship :-).

  13. Vinod_Sharma says:

    One more thing. There will be no free rice or rice at Rs 3 a kg or mid-day meals of dal and chawal. Indians will get full Khan-a with smoked Salman!

  14. Vinod_Sharma says:

    Hilarious stuff. India will then truly become the one big khan-dan that we want it to!

  15. What's In A Name ? says:

    “I will also confer on him the TADAsaheb Phalke award.” – as we say in Bengali Fatafaatiii!!! ( thats “cracking” if you suspect it for some under-hand abuse :P)

  16. ashwin says:

    Superb as usual… keep them coming…

  17. Saurabh Somani says:

    ROTFL… just read ur last 3 posts and u rock!!!

    im blog-rolling you…

    keep them coming

    cheers

  18. donraja says:

    Superb idea….this country will now really see stars.
    I think this Pun da should work

  19. Susa says:

    So if this cabinet has a ‘shake up’, Rakhi Sawant is part of the action? :-)

  20. Rohan says:

    Wow man, you’re on a roll. Keep ‘em coming.

    Rohan
    Daily Humor

  21. Rahul Jauhari says:

    ha ha ha ha

  22. rambodoc says:

    I vote for that Chunky actor as minister for alternative energy and for long speeches in Parliament. No, not Gnaw Joke Siddhu, but Go-Wind-da!
    For regulation of Corporate Affairs, let us have Ugh-Share Kumar.
    For Minister for Minority Affairs, the post should go to the Opposition: the obvious candidate is Kamal Has Sin.
    Will the list ever end?
    Brilliant post, again!

  23. Ramesh Srivats says:

    Thanks Sauvik.

    Foreign affairs are with Neena Gupta, Manish. Am not sufficiently cued into the ‘affairs’ of the current stars :-).

    And do feel free to add to list of ministers. I’ll add the suggestions to the post.

  24. Manish Krishnan says:

    Nice one !!! … N btw ..not one single candidate for external affairs in the whole of bollywood???.. weird !(or u mean anyone can take that up ;)

  25. Sauvik says:

    A hat-trick!! Great! Looking fwd to the next one.

  26. Ramesh Srivats says:

    Thanks Shubho. Is that Muke?

  27. Anonymous says:

    may i call you pun-ditji?
    - Mukund

  28. shubho sengupta says:

    superb as always

Leave a comment