Happenings in Pigland

There is unrest in Pigland. Fat pigs are quivering. Small pigs are squeaking. Medium pigs are grunting. This has been a bad month for them.

pig-swine-with-mask-043009Firstly, there is this new epidemic – human flu – which has been scything through Pigland. As of date, no less than 17 pigs have been exterminated by this dreaded disease. The health ministry of Pigland is declaring emergency measures to combat this scourge. When it was pointed out that 17 is no big deal, that over 100 million pigs are slaughtered in the USA alone every year, he indignantly retorted, “Please do not cast these pearls of wisdom before a swine like me. This is a big health issue. We live in unhygenic surroundings. In gutters and like. No wonder we are referred to as ‘Sewer Ke Bacche’. So we have to do something. But don’t worry, there is a bacon of hope. A new drug can save you. One pork and you’ll be fine.” Meanwhile, the worried denizens of Pigland are roaming around the streets wearing masks. Which they only remove to dig their snout into some tasty garbage.

Airport-Security-RAnd then there was the case of the Big Ham. This ham is a huge star in Pigland and is referred to as the King of Pollywood. As such, he is used to getting salami from everyone. Now when the big ham visited Pig Apple, nobody there knew that he was a Very Important Pandhi. So they grilled him (without marination) for a couple of hours. Perhaps the customs there are different from the customs here. Same with immigration. But Big Ham didn’t like it at all. All his grunting & squealing was picked up by the media and he hogged the headlines yet again. He now says that he won’t even be sausaged by an apology.

pig fightAnd the third big event was the release of a book. From what we know, the book is quite a boar, but a big furore was created about some past leaders. Everyone wondered what the fuss was about. After all, we pigs are much more interested in today’s dinnah than yesterday’s Jinnah. But the lard & master of the author’s party expelled him unceremoniously. This has led to a huge rift in the party and the media is again having a field day with ample material for programs like ‘The Pig Fight’. Some states are banning the book, while in others, sales are zooming. So the author seems to be quite happy. He sowed and is now reaping.

In effect, there is unnecessary panic, uncalled-for indignation and undesirable friction in Pigland. All caused by the media, who ensure that every hog has its hay. That’s all for this week. Oink you folks.

Disclaimer : Pigland is a figment of my porcine imagination. It is just my shift from being punny to being panni.

Picture Credits : Here, here and here.

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22 comments

  1. Ranga says:

    fantastic! oink oink!
    extremely creative, u r.
    you are like those amul butter’s ads – weaving masterpieces around current topics and i am laughing away to glory!
    kalakkunga saar, keep it coming!

  2. Ramnath R says:

    Wonderful beyond words. Caused heads to turn in office by my incessant chuckling. Should have visited this post earlier.

  3. Ramesh Srivats says:

    Thank you all. Glad you enjoyed it.

  4. Indraneel says:

    Brilliant, Masterly piece … from Pink floyd’s description of the Pigs to Obleix’s boar fest – no one could tell the story of the “sewer” in a better way… Keep Going.

  5. […] Happenings in Pigland | LET'S PUT DA http://www.rameshsrivats.net/2009/08/happenings-in-pigland.html – view page – cached There is unrest in Pigland. Fat pigs are quivering. Small pigs are squeaking. Medium pigs are grunting. This has been a bad month for them. Firstly, there is — From the page […]

  6. Debasish says:

    Wonderful. Dave Barry will be proud on this.

  7. Prashant Shetty says:

    “Sewer ke bacche” was my fav :) Truly pandhi curry ishtyle !!

  8. Ekta khetan says:

    Hahaa Oink-ly brilliant!!!

    Loved all the pun and the “panni” part!

  9. C.C.Gemini says:

    I “justwont” take your silly Pig at me .Who has grunted U the permission to say so.Its all a Pigment of your imagination .

  10. […] Happenings in Pigland | LET'S PUT DA The health ministry of Pigland is declaring emergency measures to combat this scourge. When it was pointed out that 17 is no big deal, that over 100 million pigs are slaughtered in the USA alone every year, he indignantly retorted, “Please do not cast these pearls of wisdom before a swine like me. This is a big health issue. We live in unhygenic surroundings. In gutters and like. No wonder we are referred to as ‘Sewer Ke Bacche’. So we have to do something. But don’t worry, there is a bacon of hope. A new drug can save you. One pork and you’ll be fine.” Meanwhile, the worried denizens of Pigland are roaming around the streets wearing masks. Which they only remove to dig their snout into some tasty garbage. (tags: humor humour india swineflu satire medicine Health healthcare) […]

  11. SEKHAR says:

    Pigland is the swine equivalent of England.An important landmark in it is Pig Pen.

  12. akshay says:

    I Oink Therefore I Ham!

  13. Aniruddha says:

    Brilliant :) Loved the puns especially the reference to Pearls before swine :D

  14. C.C.Gemini says:

    “Sri..what “r u talking about. Please don’t pork fun of me to hog some limelight.Your humour is just “Old swine in a new bottle”……..Big Ham…

  15. Rahul Prasad says:

    Your post “hogged” my attention for a full 10 minutes, which seldom happens with me now a days bcos of the media screaming at me through various channels all the time.. Kudos!

    If Pigland is a figment of ur porcine imagination I would want to see a whole slice of pork :D

    Hungrily awaiting your next post…

  16. Rambodoc says:

    This is simply brilliant. You could cure the great Depression with your panning. ‘Snout as if you have much competition. Peter Ducker would be proud!

  17. Shyam says:

    Another awesome post….!!

  18. Rajat says:

    What a pun-fest! Very sty-lish :-)

  19. Chuck says:

    The Big Ham was snout even given a bit of decency in the Pig Apple and thats why he refused to sty on.

    Three oinks for you, Ramesh. Brilliant, groanable punning yet again!

  20. Kiran says:

    Brilliant .. as usual! My favs:
    “He wont even be sausaged by an apology”
    “The book is quite a boar”
    “Every hog has its day”

    I bow to thee .. the piggest … errr .. the biggest of all satirical bloggers :) Just what the doctor ordered for a Monday morning. Cheers!

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