PUB – The Progressive Union of Bloggers

Voting for the Indibloggies has started and exit polls indicate that the voters are hopelessly in splits. So some of us candidates have decided to form a united front with a common, extremely minimum programme. Presenting – The Progressive Union of Bloggers.

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While the PUB has many happy hours, we understand that you, dear reader, have only a few minutes to spare. So here are short, snappy, 100-word speeches from the members of this alliance…

close-upRamesh Srivats – Let’s Put Da for ‘Best New Indiblog’ and Twitter Feed (here or here) for ‘Best IndiMicroblog

High folks, Ice stand before your ice in order to wine for your votes. Let me be gin by explaining to you that it is only beer pressure that is making me solicit so shamelessly. But if we win we promise you many sops (and hops). We promise not justice but soda and water too. Not mere roads but high ways. So give us your cheers and give the others booze. We guarantee full freedom. You can be physically loose as long as you are mentally tight. And one last pint – Vote not just once, but bar bar.

ashoklogo_biggerKrish Ashok – Doing Jalsa and Showing Jilpa for ‘Most Humorous Indiblog’. He Twitters here.

Four score and 10 years ago, this country made a pledge – to stop using obscure terms like “score” and use normal language instead. To boldy go where no enterprises have gone before. To be on the side of the inconvenient truth so that our hearts warm to the glow of the heating earth. So that the force is with us, the mass of a billion people accelerating towards global domination. Our wings are on fire and we’d like to spend more than one night at the call centre. To achieve these dreams requires a blog-ical coalition, a coalition of the shilling, a coalition that makes a killing, a coalition of laughs action heroes who uplift the masses against the cruel burden of gravitas and lift them to rofland. Vote for us people. We will sing lol-labies for you for the rest of your online life.

LB-twit_biggerLucky Bhat – Bhatnaturally for ‘Best Business Indiblog’. He Twitters here.

Kya aap advertising khabron se pareshan hai? TV campaign, crowdsourcing, social media, jaise kayi campaigns se information overload ki bimari hai?. Haan bhai haan? Bas subah sham lijiye do spoon Bhatnaturally.  Aur aapki chinta gaayab. Poye Pocchu! Chole gaye che. Jee haan, Advertising, Apple aur New Media khabron aur vicharon ka lajawab mishran, Bhatnaturally. Advertising jadibootiyon se bana sampoorn swadeshi, Bhatto-Bhat-naturally. Utterly Bhatturly, Bhatnaturally. Jaldi kijiye, aaj hee apna vote daliye.
Mututalfundsaresubjecttomarketrisksreadtheofferdocumentcalrefullybeforeinvesting.

…and the alliance gets stronger…

maxdavinciMaxdavinci – Dappan Koothu for ‘Best Entertainment Indiblog’ and ‘Best Personal Indiblog’. He Twitters here.

Years ago the Incas and Aztecs prophesied many things like wads of cash being dumped in the hose of commons, A singer doing an item song and later getting his ass kicked by an ichadari nag, and a nasal crooner performing to a packed house at the wembley when even dual oscar winners fail to. We all knew that didn’t we, but then their greatest prophecy was lost forever as the scroll was drowned in a gigantic vat of sambar. The scroll however now recovered prophesizes the formation of a motley crew of bloggers who will change the face of the blogiverse. Vote PUB to power and the ministry of entertainment will ensure the deluge of beef avail that is dished out in the name of cinema these days. More reviews, more gore and of course we shall get rid of poverty and world peace. Spread world peace i.e by not bombing countries but planets and moons!
PS: Don’t tell me that you believe the greatest recipe in the world was invented by some maami from mambalam. The kannadigas failed to recreate the recipe and then made up for it by adding some nuts and gave it a different name.

jhunRakesh Jhunjhunwala (or a much funnier imitation) – The Secret Journal of Rakesh Jhunjhunwala for ‘Most Humorous Indiblog’ and ‘Best Personal Indiblog’. He Twitters here.

Dear people who put things on Ramesh’s blog. Ramesh & I have a lot of things in common. We are both sexy individuals.
Being the World’s 1062nd richest man I could rig the election but I will do nothing. You may accuse me of tampering with the EVM’s and bribing the electoral officers. You may file a case in the High Court and appeal in the Supreme Court and have the CBI investigate the matter.
In the middle Mosques might break and riots might happen. Brothers will fight for gas but Deve Gowda will always be greater than Barack Obama.
What were we talking about again?

So, dear reader, play your part for a brighter tomorrow. Make up for not voting in the Lok Sabha Elections. Basically vote for a different set of jokers.

vote


The PUB is open to all. Just send a mail to letsDOTputDOTdaATgmailDOTcom. With a 100-word speech. This post will get updated as and when.

If you want to read more 100-word speeches of less significant people, you can go here, here, here, or even here.

We wanted to start an RSS feed, but the BJP objected.

Put Share Da

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12 comments

  1. L A Winans says:

    How does one get a blog listed in a List of Progressive Blogs?

    The blog we have “The Dissenting Democrat”
    dissenting democrat.wordpress.com has been in operation since September 2009

  2. Zanil Hyder says:

    I happened to stumble on this after i found a article of Ramesh Srivats and i had been on Krish Ashok’s Jisla and Jilpa and do enjoy them.Now i have been introduced to the other self proclaimed jokers.I like the idea of this congregation rigging the party.

    Awaiting for it to unfold.

    Good to know the associate wings of the party which includes MUD, DOPE etc

  3. […] Ramesh Srivats: Puntastical. (Latest Post: PUB – The Progressive Union of Bloggers) […]

  4. rahul says:

    lolz..nice…best of luck!!

  5. […] India Street, The Nefarious Sunil Essbee,The Neighborly Rashmi Bansal, Insightful Sucheta Dalal, Pun-Master Extraordinaire- Ramesh Srivats, The Desi Prime Minister or the man with the toughest looking Goatee on the planet- Gautam […]

  6. Ekta Khetan says:

    PUB party- hic, hic, hoorah!

  7. And the winner is…..congrats :-)

  8. Krish Ashok says:

    Please to note:
    The various city chapters of PUB are called Madras Union of Bloggers (MUB), Bengaluru Educated and Entertaining wRiters (BEER) and Hyderabad Online Pranksters (HOP), Delhi Online Progressive Entertainers (DOPE), Calcutta Association of Multifarious Pranksters Assembling Regularly on Internet (CAMPARI), Cochin Online Gang for Nefarous Activities & Conversations (COGNAC), Trichy Internet Professionals & Sly Yahoos(TIPSY) and finally the Ranipet Ultra-laughter Macchaans (RUM)

  9. I think there is an idea here for a real PUB. For a political party. For a paaaarty :-D

  10. […] now open to public voting. Some of us have forged alliances and are collectively garnering votes. PUB is one such alliance where behemoths like Ramesh Srivats and KrishAshok have come together and have […]

  11. george says:

    It’s always happy hour at the PUB! My vote is for the PUB! The PUB for government! The PUB for cricket! The PUB for Bollywood! Long live the PUB!

  12. heehee! Thanks, machchi! This fosters the right kind of spirit on the web.

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