Posts Tagged: Elections


14
May 09

Deconstruction of Election Symbols

The polling action is over. And the appolling auction begins. All parties will now cook the fragile egg of democracy by scrambling for power and poaching rival candidates. Like any sporting contest, all parties have a common goal but distinctive styles. And one can get an inkling of what to expect from them by deconstructing their election symbols. Here is a post-modern attempt…

THE HOPEFULS

CongressHAND – The symbol of the Congress is the Hand. Or more precisely, the palm. Or even more precisely, an open palm. That is waiting to be greased. The five fingers represent the five guiding principles of the party – To keep entrepreneurship under its Thumb. Thus pushing up the consumer price Index after which they can announce sops. To occupy the Middle ground on all issues thereby staying clear of any principles. To Ring up Sonia before making any decision. And to pander to every Little whim of all their coalition partners. The Hand is intended to subliminally indicate that any parliament with too little Congressmen will behave in an underhand manner. Unfortunately, an excess of seats makes them high-handed. The party ran out of partners before the election and thus had no choice but to use its Hand.

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22
Jan 09

100-word Election Speeches – Part 3

Link to introduction & Part 1.
Link to Part 2.

The elections are getting closer and closer. Parties have made their guest-lists. They are preparing their manifestoes and their bullet-points. People are talking Ram & stocking rum. Old leaders are trying to make news. While new candidates are making old noises. In all this buzz, here are some more suggestions for quick, snappy, speeches…

Sanjay Dutt - Oy there. Vote for me, ok. I want to be PM. My career started in a Rocky manner. But I soon made a Naam for myself. The Mumbai Blasts were a Kaante in my flesh because people thought I had made our Dushman into my Saajan. So I was called Khalnayak and kept in Kabzaa for possessing Hathyaar. But now I’m back with a Dhamaal. I fail to understand why, just because I’m a movie star, I’ve become the Dutt of all jokes. Believe me, I’m a man of deep conviction – 6 years to be precise. So vote for me and vote for a muscular India. Sanjay ka Haath, Arm Aadmi ke Saath.

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11
Dec 08

100-word Election Speeches – Part 2

If you haven’t read Part 1, this might make no sense. You may want to click here and read that first.

If you have read Part 1, this will probably still make no sense. But then, when did our leaders ever make any? Read on…

Vijay Mallya – Dear guests, I’m here to promise you Rum Rajya. Eight years back, a friend of mine invited me to join a party. I completely misunderstood him and…well…so here I am. Vote for me and let the good times roll. I’ll fill government with Diplomats to deal with the Romanovs and McDowells. The army will be equipped as per the Officers’ Choice and every terrorist will be quart. The economy will thus get a boozed and you can enjoy it with just-ice. The country will fly, our flag will be high and no bad laws will be passed. Because, whenever a bill is presented in parliament, I’ll just refuse to pay it. I be PM. UB happy.

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